What's wrong with Mr Paterson's writing.

I like pancakes.  My mum makes pancakes on Sundays, she is good at making them.

My brother Shaun is a dab hand on the bbq. All Summer long, we like to have bbqs every night, steak, sausages and meat patties, we eat a lot.

Sometimes I get to have a go on the bbq too, but my mum thinks  I am a bit dangerous.

My favourite things to do are: play soccer with my friends from nextdoor Mickey and Jimmy,  I ride my bike and have water fights, I usually win.

WALT: We had to fix anything that is wrong with the writing.